Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
