So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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