I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Life is so much better after having sex.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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