3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
