So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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