Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
