kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
