writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
