my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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