I hate your face
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
