Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Your cock deserves a montage
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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