Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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