Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
