Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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