She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
