I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
