turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
