Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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