We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
