The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
