Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
