is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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