Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
