Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
