Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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