super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
