I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
