And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
