I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
