Taylor Swift is so right about you.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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