the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
