So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
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