i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
