I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
