so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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