i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
