A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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