i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
