Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize