dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
