i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize