Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She bit a glass in half.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
