she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
