My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
