Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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