Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
