It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
