I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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