HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just threw up on my dentist
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
