her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
