so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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